Or perhaps I am.

Gacked from Dr. H. (clearly, for some reason some of these brought out the Midwesterner in me!)

If I were a month, I would be: October
If I were a day of the week, I would be: Thursday (I think I enjoy anticipating weekends more than I enjoy weekends themselves)
If I were a time of day, I would be: 2 am… best time for viewing stars and getting perspective
If I were a planet, I would be: 51 Pegasi B (in a different solar system entirely)
If I were a sea animal, I would be: wet
If I were a direction, I would be: away
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: something chunky and pine
If were a sin, I would be: omission
If I were a liquid, I would be: rain
If I were a body of water, I would be: the Platte River
If I were a stone, I would be: agate
If I were a tree, I would be: cottonwood
If I were a bird, I would be: a meadowlark
If I were a flower/plant, I would be: prairie grass
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: a big fat Midwestern thunderstorm!
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a cello
If I were an animal, I would be: a python, or maybe a coyote
If I were a color, I would be: coffee
If I were an emotion, I would be: nostalgia
If I were a vegetable, I would be: spinach
If I were a sound, I would be: silence, with crickets
If I were an element, I would be: water
If I were a car, I would be: an Audi TT
If I were a song, I would be: Béla Fleck, “The Great Circle Route” (Tales from the Acoustic Planet)
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Almodóvar (that one’s more of a fantasy – I’m not nearly that colorful!)
If I were a book, I would be written by: José Saramago
If I were a food, I would be: manchego cheese, or maybe lentils
If I were a place, I would be: somewhere you could only get to on foot
If I were a material, I would be: linen
If I were a taste, I would be: paprika
If I were a scent, I would be: grass
If I were a word, I would be: Sasquatch (just because it’s so damn fun to say)
If I were an object, I would be: an amulet
If I were a body part, I would be: skin
If I were a facial expression, I would be: unreadable
If I were a subject in school, I would be: ANYTHING but preparation for a standardized exam
If I were a dog, I would be: an Australian shepherd
If I were a cat, I would be: blissfully happy
If I were a number, I would be: twelve (because I’m a synesthete and I like the color)